For social ease in the Indian scenario we have been made to believe the above but experiences of many a evolved soul says more than once is not just possible but is often the way it is. We fall into a trap of evaluating love calling it real or unreal. If it turns into marriage it is real or else its not, what a conditioning we are given and that too for generations together. There can be no right or wrong about love. It simply “IS”.
Here, I am not providing justifications for the stray affairs that happen or emerge out of want for just physical intimacy. Love is an ocean, it is like the air that we breathe which keeps us alive and keeps us going. Sometime earlier I have made a mention saying that Love as an element is always present in each of us and it is some external stimuli that makes it overflow from us and touch another soul or even an activity. Other activity could be love for music, for books, photography..it is just anything or just that one thing that makes you feel that you have come Alive.
What interests me is the complexities that we give rise to when this love happens to be for more than one person( read as if between life partners). When a person feels love for another, gets married and settles down, why we knock down the possibility of him being in love with some other individual as well. May be we are unsure of ourselves, may be we do not trust ourselves that we can live with the fact that one may love more than one person at the same time. It for sure requires a rock solid understanding of your self and an eternal openness to accept things as they happen. We possibly feel threatened by our own heart’s calling. Some of my friends who were born years earlier than what I was confess in me saying that there have been instances where after a point of time in their lives, when they discovered themselves more, they approached their then partners to communicate and expected them to understand their process of evolution which in essence is CHANGE. Not very often it has happened that two people in love accept change in their partners and with grace. Somewhere down the line two individuals forget that they are so and that one is exposed to certain experiences that the other is not. For example, a housewife can only imagine what her spouse is experiencing at work which also depends on the amount of sharing done by the other partner. The level of understanding of one is limited to his or her exposure and experiences. In many cases couples experience a disconnect after a period of time, could be 5, 10 , 15 or more years. This so happens because when two decided to unite, they were on a common platform , later one may outgrow the other. The one who has outgrown, does make an attempt to make the other understand what he is going through and how he is evolving each day. He expects his life partner to understand and appreciate the changes(read growth) but may not always find it so.
Whenever we find an individual who appreciates, complements and understands us we begin to love him. This does happen to many couples in marriage. Some separate and live with the other person and some beautifully and subtly manage love and responsibility. This phenomenon can occur many times in one’s life, it is we who have to first understand ourselves and accept that such a thing is possible.
Quite often I question the definition of a successful marriage- is it the number of years that one spends under one roof with another (with due respects to all the couples who do live together, no comments on that). The society has often looked down upon people who divorce and remarry another individual. It is through these rights and wrongs that we let ourselves get influenced and not follow our hearts. I have also come across children who hate their parent for loving some other person than their mother/ father. It is much later or may be never that the child understands and appreciates the choice his parent made.
I have come to understand that we learn through relationships. We are Given souls in different relationships for us to learn different subjects. Physically Close are those from whom we or being with whom we got to learn the most. Also, this happens over many cycles of lifetimes. What is known to your heart, your inner being is not known to anybody else, it cannot be explained in words. When you choose not to listen to your inner voice, you choose fear and not life. And yes, living the path your heart chooses is definitely a matter of courage.
Sum it up by Kahlil Gibran’s quote- Do not try to direct Love, for if it finds you worthy enough, it will direct you into its own course…Have faith!
